Saturday, May 30, 2015

And that's all there is. There isn't any more.

When I was a little girl staying with Aunt Pat, she would tuck me into bed at night. She would stand at the door, turn out the light and whisper Miss Clavel's last words from Madeline, "And that's all there is. There isn't any more."

It is with deep sadness we announce True Tried Friend, Best Aunt Pat, dearest friend, 'On a picnic we will go...', Grandma Pat to little ones, black coffee only, I was weaned from cream at Pat's, 'Patricia's By The Sea' menu, never stepped foot in Starbucks, "It's a nice day, you should be on the beach!", Marmaduke, Olive and Pit, coffee at 9 and 4 at the shop, "Get with it!", 4 o'clock coffee on Mondays and Fridays, Somer The Finest Feline, Deviled eggs, Mrs. Buttersworth filled with nasturtiums, the one and only Patricia Anne Friedland crossed the bar at 1:20 pm on this beautiful sunny afternoon. I was by her side holding her hand as she took her last breath.

We will host a "Pat's Black Coffee Party" in Cannon Beach this summer. I will post details on the blog when finalized.

Please post some of you favorite memories and/or Aunt Pat sayings in the comments below. Thank you.

Betsy xo


When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom’d

When lilacs last in the dooryard bloom’d,
And the great star early droop’d in the western sky in the night,
I mourn’d, and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.





Friday, May 29, 2015

Gone From My Sight

Aunt Pat was all "Chatty Cathy" when I visited her at 10 am. She feels better in the mornings. It's hard to imagine her time is very short, especially when she seems to improve a tiny bit over yesterday. I checked on her during lunch and she is more tired and sedated but still sharp as a tack. She is comfortable and resting peacefully. 

She is having visions. I walked into the room today and she was full on in conversation with someone. I joined in and Aunt Pat didn't miss a beat - she kept the conversation going for a bit. 

Because she is still nauseous, Lori the Hospice Angel is increasing her meds which will make her more sleepy. She is ready to go as she doesn't like living like this. Her body is in process of shutting down. She is a strong woman. It is only a matter of time.  


Panorama view of Pat's Coffee and Tea shop.

This is a poem Hospice shares and it is also very fitting.

Gone From My Sight

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

And that is dying...

Betsy xo





Thursday, May 28, 2015

Crossing The Bar

May 28th

The oxygen has helped Aunt Pat feel better. She is resting comfortably. Lori the Hospice Angel put her on a schedule for the meds. She'll get Ondansetron (8mg), Morphine (5mg) and Haloperidol (0.5mg) every eight hours starting at 8 am, 4 pm and Midnight.

The meds will make her very sleepy and fuzzy. She'll probably have hallucinations. Lori explained in the Hospice world they call it "visioning". The dying will report visions of deceased loved ones in the room with them. Lori said the visions typically lessen the fear of dying and make passing an easier transition. Aunt Pat told us she felt someone in the room with her earlier. She opened her eyes but no one was there. I'm sure it's someone she knows inviting her to 4 o'clock coffee.

When I visited her briefly last night we looked out the window to watch the stars. She told me one of her favorite poems is Lord Tennyson's Crossing the Bar. She started reciting it. I thought it was very fitting to share.

Crossing the Bar

BY ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON
Sunset and evening star,
      And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
      When I put out to sea,

   But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
      Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
      Turns again home.

   Twilight and evening bell,
      And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
      When I embark;

   For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
      The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
      When I have crost the bar.

Betsy xo


                   




Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Big change


May 27th

We all knew it was coming, however, as much preparation one can do it is still not easy to accept. Aunt Pat took a turn for the worse last night. She is having difficulty drinking water and keeping it down. Her throat hurts to swallow. Her breathing is shallow. She is on oxygen and Haldol to help her relax and stop vomiting. The morphine will be increased, too. She will be sleeping a lot. Her comfort is our priority.

We understand your desire to reach out one last time. The best gift you can give her is peace and quiet so she can rest and sleep. You can email and if she is awake, we'll read the emails to her.

Thank you for your understanding. 

Betsy xo

BTW - I was going to Cannon Beach this weekend but it is now on hold. I will let you know when I'll be heading to the beach. Thanks!


Poppy












Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Alter Schwede!

May 26th

Eric and Amy organized a picnic dinner in the window with Aunt Pat tonight. Pizza was ordered and we sat outside and chatted with her as she lay in bed. She is getting weaker, sleeping more and requesting more morphine.

I thought this very apropos considering Aunt Pat lived in Germany and is half Swedish. A very popular informal German expression is "Alter Schwede!" (Old Swede!). 


The meaning of Alter Schwede is an "old friend" or "old chap" (for the Brits amongst you…). When Americans say "Hey Buddy!" to a friend, Germans might for instance say "Na, alter Schwede!".


Swedes have apparently earned their reputation as good friends. The expression Alter Schwede first occurred in the 17th century and is related to the Thirty Years' War. After the end of the war, Friedrich Wilhelm von Brandenburg (elector of the Holy Roman Empire) recruited war-proven Swedish soldiers as instructors for his army. They mostly held the rank of sergeants as they were very experienced in tough military exercise (drilling). Because of that, they were soon referred to as "the old Swedes", which explains the described meaning of Alter Schwede as a buddy/friend.
Eric Friedland playing cribbage with his good friend "Alter Schwede" and brother-in-law Uncle Herb (Marion Cronquist's husband.) A game of cribbage was always going on when the two were together. Tom and Pat are hanging out with them at the picnic table.
To all her 'Alter Schwedes', thank you for the phone calls, emails and visits. You mean the world to her!
Betsy xo


Monday, May 25, 2015

Weekend Update

Aunt Pat and Sally Horn
Sunday, May 24th

Aunt Pat had many visitors; Sally Jerome, Sally & Cal Horn, Bob & Emily, Muffie & Jessie and Squiggs' granddaughter Marie who was in town for a volleyball tourney.













She was very tired but in great spirits with all the visits, calls and emails. She is only taking morphine at night. Her liquid intake is about the same as the past few days.

Hospice visits daily. Aunt Pat's belly is very distended. They tells me they're surprised she is not in more pain. This is a blessing.





Monday, May 25th


Aunt Pat is tired today. She slept hard for 3.5 hours this afternoon. She is getting weaker and needs help walking to the bathroom and getting on the bed. She needs more morphine at night and a little during the day now.

Thank you for reaching out to her. I know the move to Seattle has not been easy but staying connected to her friends has made the transition easier. You all are angels.





Betsy xo




Saturday, May 23, 2015

Saturday's News

Pat, Tom and Squiggs at Knott's Berry Farm.
May 23rd



Aunt Pat had another great day. Very little pain and discomfort. She had a little pain and was going to request morphine but rolled over to her side and the pain went away. I'm so thankful she is not in any discomfort.





















Eric Friedland, Pat & Tom and Lena Mae with Squiggs the Surprise!

She is flooded with birthday cards. She has them stacked on her night stand and shares them. The nieces and nephews paid her a visit. They were looking for Rudy outside. We opened her window to the back yard so she could visit. She enjoyed it. Saint Bob and Saint Emily visited, too. 






Tom and Pat at the beach.


Aunt Pat is drinking about a cup and a half of liquids a day and keeping them down. She is comfortable. She tires easily but still enjoys the calls, visits and emails.

Betsy xo



Tom and Pat on the beach.



Friday, May 22, 2015

Celebration!


May 22nd


We celebrated Aunt Pat's Birthday. 



She had a little chocolate cake.


Eighty-one wishes in one blow!


Saint Bob and Saint Emily brought homemade almond cake and fresh local Oregon berries which Aunt Pat also enjoyed.


Aunt Pat celebrating her birthday as a little girl.

Aunt Pat and Tom riding their tricycles.


Aunt Pat continues to keep drinking liquids and her spirits are good. She did receive morphine last night as she wakes with pain in the middle of the night. She doesn't need pain meds during the day yet.





























She was a little more tired today but it's to be expected with the visitors, phone calls, emails and reading all the lovely cards.


We put more cat food out for Rudy. We removed the screen from Aunt Pat's open window hoping he will jump through it during the night. Keep your fingers crossed!

Betsy xoxo




















Thursday, May 21, 2015

Aunt Pat's Birthday!!

Tom and Pat

Happy Birthday to Aunt Pat!!!!

Thursday was a good day for Aunt Pat. She had a lot of energy and was very chatty. She didn't nap during the day and entertained visitors with great stories.










Rudy before he ran away.

Wondering if the anti nausea medicine ondansetron is having a positive effect. She did have some pain Wednesday night and took morphine but didn't need any on Thursday.

She is drinking liquids and feeling pretty good. Let's hope it continues!

***Update**** Aunt Pat emailed me this morning. Rudy was spotted at the back door at 3 am. When they opened the door he ran away. He's still in the area! He must be trying to make it home for her birthday.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

Betsy xo



Pat and Squiggs visiting.







Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Dot the i's and cross the t's

May 20th

As you can guess, Aunt Pat is tidying up. No stone left unturned. She is organized and ready as much as she can for the next steps. It's hard to watch, yet, it's amazing this woman as sick and weak as she is, doesn't want to burden anyone. I'm so going to miss her. 

Squiggs flew in from Bend and Tom and Cathy drove over from Ellensburg to visit for the day. It was wonderful they spent time together.

You all have been sending Aunt Pat lovely emails about your friendship. It means the world to her. The greatest gift of life is friendship and she has received it tenfold. 

Dr. Wong, her Primary Care Physician she only met once, did a house call today. It surprised Aunt Pat a doctor in the big city would take time out of his day to come by and check on her. He is another angel in our midst.

Laurie the Hospice Nurse is shocked Aunt Pat is not in any pain. Blockages usually cause severe discomfort. She ordered a pain pump and extra morphine for the long weekend ahead to administer as soon as she needs it. 



Aunt Pat cannot keep any food down. Laurie explained as soon as Aunt Pat stops taking liquids she will last between one to five days. As of now, she is sipping on a little water.

Still no sightings of Rudy. 


Betsy xo















Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Hospice Visits

May 19th

As many of you know, Hospice visited Aunt Pat today. Laurie the Hospice Nurse is truly amazing. She is kind and gentle and full of grace. She spoke to Aunt Pat about the process of ovarian cancer and what to expect.

It's grim news and Laurie delivered it with dignity and respect. The Hospice organization is amazing and I believe she is truly an angel.

Aunt Pat has a blockage which is why she keeps vomiting. There is a slim possibility it might 'unblock'. If it doesn't, the time is short.

She enjoys visitors. Her energy is waning and she naps a lot. She still loves talking with everyone, sharing stories and chatting on the phone.

Unfortunately, we still cannot find Rudy. The neighbors are looking for him. I hope he shows up soon. Aunt Pat misses him.

Betsy xo








Monday, May 18, 2015

Tuesday's News

May 19th

Aunt Pat is having a terrible time keeping food down. She continues to get weaker and walking is more of a challenge. 


The hunt for Rudy continues. No sightings of him yesterday or today. 

Betsy xo


Sunday, May 17, 2015

Wrangling Rudy


Sunday, May 17th

I decided to write a blog to keep everyone near and far updated on Aunt Pat. Feel free to check back and I will update accordingly. It will make it easier as the email list is getting long. And please send this link to anyone who would enjoy being kept in the loop.

We moved Aunt Pat and her cat Rudy to Seattle on April 27th so we could provide the care she needed. She was in an Adult Family care home next to the Greek Orthodox Church in Montlake are of Seattle.

Aunt Pat has good days and bad days. Today is a good day. She has more energy and feels better than the previous two days. On Friday and Saturday she had a hard time keeping food down. She doesn’t feel nauseated. The food just comes up. Sometimes right after eating and sometimes after a few hours. 

Aunt Pat’s Birthday is this Friday, May 22nd. She will be 21 years old with 60 years experience!! If you have a moment, please drop her a birthday card. She lives for your cards, calls and emails. She is still very much the social butterfly.

Pat Friedland and Rudy
2132 Boyer Ave E
Seattle, WA 98112

Aunt Pat’s Cell - 503-739-0482

Thank you to everyone who sent her a note. She shares all the beautiful cards she’s received. You all are very dear to her. And many thanks to the folks who are doing errands and chores in Cannon Beach and Seattle. I appreciate all the help from mailing packages to keeping her updated on the local news to providing her tech support and visits.

The big news is Rudy escaped on Saturday morning. While Aunt Pat was eating breakfast, her bedroom was vacuumed. Rudy got scared and left the room. The front door was left open and he escaped out of the house. I found him Saturday afternoon three doors down. When I approached, he ran under the porch of the house. I finally coaxed him close enough and grabbed him. When I was standing up, my keys fell out of my pocket. The sound of the keys hitting the ground freaked Rudy out and he sprang from my arms. Back under the porch he hid. 

I put Aunt Pat in her transport chair and wheeled her down to the neighbor’s side yard to talk Rudy into coming out. The neighbor Colleen came out wondering what we were doing. She has two cats and a corgi and she immediately jumped into action to help us catch Rudy. She put cat treats out and got close enough to collect Rudy in her grasp. But he wouldn’t have anything to do with it and sprang from her arms back under the porch. I wheeled Aunt Pat back home as she was getting cold and tired. Colleen and I spent another two hours trying to convince Rudy we were okay to no avail.

I drove to Lynnwood to rent a live animal trap. We secured him in a small area for the night and baited the trap with food. He escaped his enclosure and was on the loose again.

Backyard with the Greek Church's wall in the back ground. Rudy is hiding under the porch!
I searched for him Sunday morning and couldn’t find him. In the afternoon, he was spotted in Aunt Pat’s backyard! Her bedroom window looks into the backyard and she saw him run across it. Brooks and his nine year old daughter Skyler were visiting and found Rudy hiding under the back porch. This is great news! They moved the cat trap and baited it with food and water. 

Panoramic view of the backyard. 
I sat outside Aunt Pat's window this evening. The window is open so Aunt Pat can lay on her bed in her room and talk to me. I'm hoping Rudy can hear our voices and know he’s close to home. It’s good to know where he is. I'm confident we'll get him back.  

I’ll keep everyone posted. Any prayers, good thoughts, and/or positive vibes sent out to the universe would be most welcome. I know how much comfort and love Rudy provides for Aunt Pat. She is relieved he’s close and alive but anxious to get him back safe in her room. I can’t blame her.

Happy Norwegian Independence Day! Aunt Pat has been reminding me of this day. She thinks it’s funny. The Constitution of Norway was signed on May 17, 1814. The constitution declared Norway to be an independent kingdom in an attempt to avoid being ceded to Sweden after Denmark–Norway's devastating defeat in the Napoleonic Wars.

Many thanks!
Betsy xoxo
Chives from the garden.