And that's all there is. There isn't any more.

When I was a little girl staying with Aunt Pat, she would tuck me into bed at night. She would stand at the door, turn out the light and whisper Miss Clavel's last words from Madeline, "And that's all there is. There isn't any more."

It is with deep sadness we announce True Tried Friend, Best Aunt Pat, dearest friend, 'On a picnic we will go...', Grandma Pat to little ones, black coffee only, I was weaned from cream at Pat's, 'Patricia's By The Sea' menu, never stepped foot in Starbucks, "It's a nice day, you should be on the beach!", Marmaduke, Olive and Pit, coffee at 9 and 4 at the shop, "Get with it!", 4 o'clock coffee on Mondays and Fridays, Somer The Finest Feline, Deviled eggs, Mrs. Buttersworth filled with nasturtiums, the one and only Patricia Anne Friedland crossed the bar at 1:20 pm on this beautiful sunny afternoon. I was by her side holding her hand as she took her last breath.

We will host a "Pat's Black Coffee Party" in Cannon Beach this summer. I will post details on the blog when finalized.

Please post some of you favorite memories and/or Aunt Pat sayings in the comments below. Thank you.

Betsy xo

When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom’d

BY WALT WHITMAN

When lilacs last in the dooryard bloom’d,

And the great star early droop’d in the western sky in the night,

I mourn’d, and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.

Aunt Pat was all "Chatty Cathy" when I visited her at 10 am. She feels better in the mornings. It's hard to imagine her time is very short, especially when she seems to improve a tiny bit over yesterday. I checked on her during lunch and she is more tired and sedated but still sharp as a tack. She is comfortable and resting peacefully. 

She is having visions. I walked into the room today and she was full on in conversation with someone. I joined in and Aunt Pat didn't miss a beat - she kept the conversation going for a bit. 

Because she is still nauseous, Lori the Hospice Angel is increasing her meds which will make her more sleepy. She is ready to go as she doesn't like living like this. Her body is in process of shutting down. She is a strong woman. It is only a matter of time.  

Panorama view of Pat's Coffee and Tea shop.

This is a poem Hospice shares and it is also very fitting.

Gone From My Sight

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

And that is dying...

Betsy xo

May 28th

The oxygen has helped Aunt Pat feel better. She is resting comfortably. Lori the Hospice Angel put her on a schedule for the meds. She'll get Ondansetron (8mg), Morphine (5mg) and Haloperidol (0.5mg) every eight hours starting at 8 am, 4 pm and Midnight.

The meds will make her very sleepy and fuzzy. She'll probably have hallucinations. Lori explained in the Hospice world they call it "visioning". The dying will report visions of deceased loved ones in the room with them. Lori said the visions typically lessen the fear of dying and make passing an easier transition. Aunt Pat told us she felt someone in the room with her earlier. She opened her eyes but no one was there. I'm sure it's someone she knows inviting her to 4 o'clock coffee.

When I visited her briefly last night we looked out the window to watch the stars. She told me one of her favorite poems is Lord Tennyson's Crossing the Bar. She started reciting it. I thought it was very fitting to share.

Crossing the Bar

BY ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON

Sunset and evening star,

      And one clear call for me!

And may there be no moaning of the bar,

      When I put out to sea,

   But such a tide as moving seems asleep,

      Too full for sound and foam,

When that which drew from out the boundless deep

      Turns again home.

   Twilight and evening bell,

      And after that the dark!

And may there be no sadness of farewell,

      When I embark;

   For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place

      The flood may bear me far,

I hope to see my Pilot face to face

      When I have crost the bar.

Betsy xo

                   

Big change

May 27th

We all knew it was coming, however, as much preparation one can do it is still not easy to accept. Aunt Pat took a turn for the worse last night. She is having difficulty drinking water and keeping it down. Her throat hurts to swallow. Her breathing is shallow. She is on oxygen and Haldol to help her relax and stop vomiting. The morphine will be increased, too. She will be sleeping a lot. Her comfort is our priority.

We understand your desire to reach out one last time. The best gift you can give her is peace and quiet so she can rest and sleep. You can email and if she is awake, we'll read the emails to her.

Thank you for your understanding. 

Betsy xo

BTW - I was going to Cannon Beach this weekend but it is now on hold. I will let you know when I'll be heading to the beach. Thanks!

Poppy

Alter Schwede!

May 26th

Eric and Amy organized a picnic dinner in the window with Aunt Pat tonight. Pizza was ordered and we sat outside and chatted with her as she lay in bed. She is getting weaker, sleeping more and requesting more morphine.

I thought this very apropos considering Aunt Pat lived in Germany and is half Swedish. A very popular informal German expression is "Alter Schwede!" (Old Swede!). 

The meaning of Alter Schwede is an "old friend" or "old chap" (for the Brits amongst you…). When Americans say "Hey Buddy!" to a friend, Germans might for instance say "Na, alter Schwede!".

Swedes have apparently earned their reputation as good friends. The expression Alter Schwede first occurred in the 17th century and is related to the Thirty Years' War. After the end of the war, Friedrich Wilhelm von Brandenburg (elector of the Holy Roman Empire) recruited war-proven Swedish soldiers as instructors for his army. They mostly held the rank of sergeants as they were very experienced in tough military exercise (drilling). Because of that, they were soon referred to as "the old Swedes", which explains the described meaning of Alter Schwede as a buddy/friend.

Eric Friedland playing cribbage with his good friend "Alter Schwede" and brother-in-law Uncle Herb (Marion Cronquist's husband.) A game of cribbage was always going on when the two were together. Tom and Pat are hanging out with them at the picnic table.

To all her 'Alter Schwedes', thank you for the phone calls, emails and visits. You mean the world to her!

Betsy xo

Weekend Update

Aunt Pat and Sally Horn

Sunday, May 24th

Aunt Pat had many visitors; Sally Jerome, Sally & Cal Horn, Bob & Emily, Muffie & Jessie and Squiggs' granddaughter Marie who was in town for a volleyball tourney.












She was very tired but in great spirits with all the visits, calls and emails. She is only taking morphine at night. Her liquid intake is about the same as the past few days.

Hospice visits daily. Aunt Pat's belly is very distended. They tells me they're surprised she is not in more pain. This is a blessing.

Monday, May 25th


Aunt Pat is tired today. She slept hard for 3.5 hours this afternoon. She is getting weaker and needs help walking to the bathroom and getting on the bed. She needs more morphine at night and a little during the day now.

Thank you for reaching out to her. I know the move to Seattle has not been easy but staying connected to her friends has made the transition easier. You all are angels.

Betsy xo

Saturday's News

Pat, Tom and Squiggs at Knott's Berry Farm.

May 23rd



Aunt Pat had another great day. Very little pain and discomfort. She had a little pain and was going to request morphine but rolled over to her side and the pain went away. I'm so thankful she is not in any discomfort.

Eric Friedland, Pat & Tom and Lena Mae with Squiggs the Surprise!

She is flooded with birthday cards. She has them stacked on her night stand and shares them. The nieces and nephews paid her a visit. They were looking for Rudy outside. We opened her window to the back yard so she could visit. She enjoyed it. Saint Bob and Saint Emily visited, too. 

Tom and Pat at the beach.

Aunt Pat is drinking about a cup and a half of liquids a day and keeping them down. She is comfortable. She tires easily but still enjoys the calls, visits and emails.

Betsy xo

Tom and Pat on the beach.

Celebration!

May 22nd

We celebrated Aunt Pat's Birthday. 


She had a little chocolate cake.

Eighty-one wishes in one blow!

Saint Bob and Saint Emily brought homemade almond cake and fresh local Oregon berries which Aunt Pat also enjoyed.

Aunt Pat celebrating her birthday as a little girl.

Aunt Pat and Tom riding their tricycles.

Aunt Pat continues to keep drinking liquids and her spirits are good. She did receive morphine last night as she wakes with pain in the middle of the night. She doesn't need pain meds during the day yet.




























She was a little more tired today but it's to be expected with the visitors, phone calls, emails and reading all the lovely cards.


We put more cat food out for Rudy. We removed the screen from Aunt Pat's open window hoping he will jump through it during the night. Keep your fingers crossed!

Betsy xoxo

Aunt Pat's Birthday!!

Tom and Pat

Happy Birthday to Aunt Pat!!!!

Thursday was a good day for Aunt Pat. She had a lot of energy and was very chatty. She didn't nap during the day and entertained visitors with great stories.

Rudy before he ran away.

Wondering if the anti nausea medicine ondansetron is having a positive effect. She did have some pain Wednesday night and took morphine but didn't need any on Thursday.

She is drinking liquids and feeling pretty good. Let's hope it continues!

***Update**** Aunt Pat emailed me this morning. Rudy was spotted at the back door at 3 am. When they opened the door he ran away. He's still in the area! He must be trying to make it home for her birthday.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

Betsy xo

Pat and Squiggs visiting.

Dot the i's and cross the t's

May 20th

As you can guess, Aunt Pat is tidying up. No stone left unturned. She is organized and ready as much as she can for the next steps. It's hard to watch, yet, it's amazing this woman as sick and weak as she is, doesn't want to burden anyone. I'm so going to miss her. 

Squiggs flew in from Bend and Tom and Cathy drove over from Ellensburg to visit for the day. It was wonderful they spent time together.

You all have been sending Aunt Pat lovely emails about your friendship. It means the world to her. The greatest gift of life is friendship and she has received it tenfold. 

Dr. Wong, her Primary Care Physician she only met once, did a house call today. It surprised Aunt Pat a doctor in the big city would take time out of his day to come by and check on her. He is another angel in our midst.

Laurie the Hospice Nurse is shocked Aunt Pat is not in any pain. Blockages usually cause severe discomfort. She ordered a pain pump and extra morphine for the long weekend ahead to administer as soon as she needs it. 



Aunt Pat cannot keep any food down. Laurie explained as soon as Aunt Pat stops taking liquids she will last between one to five days. As of now, she is sipping on a little water.

Still no sightings of Rudy. 


Betsy xo