Details for Aunt Pat's Black Coffee Service at 3 PM on Friday, July 17th

We will gather at three and share stories of Aunt Pat.

Food and drinks will be provided. Black Coffee will be served! You will have to find the cream and sugar...

Aunt Pat wanted her service at The Greenhouse. If you have never been, you will understand why. It is a tranquil and a very beautiful place. Many thanks to Beth Holland and Mike Morgan for hosting this special gathering.

The Greenhouse

We are prepared for inclement weather and praying for a gorgeous sunny day. The grounds are full of flowers and a natural amphitheater will be set up with chairs if the weather is nice. If it's cold or wet, we'll be inside the greenhouse with many tables and chairs and it will be dry. 

The amphitheater.

Parking
The amount of cars available to park is limited. Please park at The Greenhouse if walking on gravel will be difficult.  It's a quarter mile from the Tolovana Beach State Park to The Greenhouse. Blue balloons will be lining the route.

The walkways are gravel so please keep the stilettos at home.

Shuttle
We are providing a shuttle van from Tolovana Beach State Park Public Bus Stop to The Greenhouse starting around 2:30ish and will return folks after the service. 

Directions

Start at Tolovana Beach State Park or The Wayside Inn (3339 S Hemlock St.)

Head East on Warren Way and go under Hwy 101.

On your left, is a gravel road called Warren Way.

Turn left on to Warren Way.

At the fork, stay right and head up the hill.

Go up the hill and the Greenhouse will be on the right.
Blue balloons will be lining the route.

Map from Tolovana Beach State Park to The Greenhouse.

The road will be lined with blue balloons. It is a quarter mile from Tolovana State Park to The Greenhouse.

Please leave your dogs at home. Edith, the humongous gorgeous cat rules the roost and prefers no competition.

Looking forward to seeing you. Please call if you have any questions.

Betsy xoxo
206-388-6188

Rudy's Home!

Monday, July 6th

Rudy was found last week! He is now safe and living with me. 

The wonderful neighbor who lives two houses away from where Aunt Pat was staying found him. Rudy was living in her garage and back yard. We had to feed him for a week and half before he would come close to anyone.

He was on the lam for five weeks and is skinny. I'm filling him with all the cat food and love he deserves. He is a snuggler and wants nothing more than to curl up with anyone who will pet him.

I am so happy to have him in a safe place before the fireworks last weekend and to get him out of the heat.

I know Aunt Pat is smiling from above.

Rudy's real name is Evinrude from the A.A. Milne poem:

Tiger:

I think that I shall never see 

a cat who purrs as loud as he.

Had I foreseen this aptitude, 

I would have named him Evinrude!

Hope to see you all at Aunt Pat's Black Coffee Service on Friday, July 17th. We will be gathering at 3 PM at Beth and Mike Holland's beautiful Greenhouse on East Warren Way, Cannon Beach. It will be very easy to find - Blue balloons will be marking the location on the road. More details to come!

Betsy xo

When Aunt Pat was in Germany

I'm sharing an email from Aunt Pat's long time friend Doris Rindermann. Doris is German and lives in Frankfurt today. She and Aunt Pat worked together in Würzburg. I loved hearing about how they met.



Dear Betsy,

thank you so much for the auntpatupdate.  My heartfelt sympathy.

I have known Pat for over 50 years and even though we wrote each other only a few times during the year, we felt very close.

In 1959 I started as a secretary in the Leighton Lighthouse Service Club in Wuerzburg, Germany to familiarize with the American language, before I worked as an interpreter for the Staff Judge Advocate of the 3rd Infantry Division (the famous Marine Division)
Everything was new for me, which must have been very funny for the "Three Service Club  Girls" as Pat and the two of her collegues were called. Once we had a run to the Club and it turned out that on my first day I had suggested to a young soldier to rest in the lounge when he had asked for the rest rooms. So they wanted to see this strange  newcomer.

The Service Club offered fantastic programs for the draftees. Many of these young men had never been away from home and were thankful that they could feel at home in the service club with its good and cheerful atmosphere.  We had a photo shop, a crafts room and a huge lounge where we offered  a variety of evening programs. On the weekends we offered bus trips into the surrounding picturesque villages.

A Glee Club used to practice and gave theater performances.  Most members of the choir became long time friends of Pat.  She had such a wonderful sense of humour.

A few years ago, when Pat  came to Frankfurt we met and shared all the good old and often so funny memories. We had such a good time.

Thank you so much for sharing the up-date with me.

Should you intend to come to Europe my house is open for you. Don't hesitate to let me know.

Love
Doris

Pat's Black Coffee Party

Ink your Calendar for
Pat's Black Coffee Party

Friday, July 17th at 3 PM

.

The Greenhouse 

Beth Holland's Nursery

.

East Warren Way

Cannon Beach, OR 97110

We will be gathering to share our favorite memories as we enjoy some of Aunt Pat's favorite dishes. Bring your own coffee mug!

A nice article was written about Aunt Pat in the Cannon Beach Gazette on Thursday, June 2nd. - http://www.dailyastorian.com/CBG/news/20150605/philanthropist-and-business-owner-patricia-friedland-dies-at-81

"There will come a day – I promise you, when the thought brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye. It will happen." ~Joe Biden

Sea Fever

I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,

And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,

And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,

And a grey mist on the sea's face, and a grey dawn breaking.

I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide

Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;

And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,

And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,

To the gull's way and the whale's way, where the wind's like a whetted knife;

And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,

And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.

~John Masefield

Photos provided by Rainmar Bartl.

Betsy xo

And that's all there is. There isn't any more.

When I was a little girl staying with Aunt Pat, she would tuck me into bed at night. She would stand at the door, turn out the light and whisper Miss Clavel's last words from Madeline, "And that's all there is. There isn't any more."

It is with deep sadness we announce True Tried Friend, Best Aunt Pat, dearest friend, 'On a picnic we will go...', Grandma Pat to little ones, black coffee only, I was weaned from cream at Pat's, 'Patricia's By The Sea' menu, never stepped foot in Starbucks, "It's a nice day, you should be on the beach!", Marmaduke, Olive and Pit, coffee at 9 and 4 at the shop, "Get with it!", 4 o'clock coffee on Mondays and Fridays, Somer The Finest Feline, Deviled eggs, Mrs. Buttersworth filled with nasturtiums, the one and only Patricia Anne Friedland crossed the bar at 1:20 pm on this beautiful sunny afternoon. I was by her side holding her hand as she took her last breath.

We will host a "Pat's Black Coffee Party" in Cannon Beach this summer. I will post details on the blog when finalized.

Please post some of you favorite memories and/or Aunt Pat sayings in the comments below. Thank you.

Betsy xo

When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom’d

BY WALT WHITMAN

When lilacs last in the dooryard bloom’d,

And the great star early droop’d in the western sky in the night,

I mourn’d, and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.

Aunt Pat was all "Chatty Cathy" when I visited her at 10 am. She feels better in the mornings. It's hard to imagine her time is very short, especially when she seems to improve a tiny bit over yesterday. I checked on her during lunch and she is more tired and sedated but still sharp as a tack. She is comfortable and resting peacefully. 

She is having visions. I walked into the room today and she was full on in conversation with someone. I joined in and Aunt Pat didn't miss a beat - she kept the conversation going for a bit. 

Because she is still nauseous, Lori the Hospice Angel is increasing her meds which will make her more sleepy. She is ready to go as she doesn't like living like this. Her body is in process of shutting down. She is a strong woman. It is only a matter of time.  

Panorama view of Pat's Coffee and Tea shop.

This is a poem Hospice shares and it is also very fitting.

Gone From My Sight

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side,
spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts
for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck
of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me -- not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone,"
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"

And that is dying...

Betsy xo

May 28th

The oxygen has helped Aunt Pat feel better. She is resting comfortably. Lori the Hospice Angel put her on a schedule for the meds. She'll get Ondansetron (8mg), Morphine (5mg) and Haloperidol (0.5mg) every eight hours starting at 8 am, 4 pm and Midnight.

The meds will make her very sleepy and fuzzy. She'll probably have hallucinations. Lori explained in the Hospice world they call it "visioning". The dying will report visions of deceased loved ones in the room with them. Lori said the visions typically lessen the fear of dying and make passing an easier transition. Aunt Pat told us she felt someone in the room with her earlier. She opened her eyes but no one was there. I'm sure it's someone she knows inviting her to 4 o'clock coffee.

When I visited her briefly last night we looked out the window to watch the stars. She told me one of her favorite poems is Lord Tennyson's Crossing the Bar. She started reciting it. I thought it was very fitting to share.

Crossing the Bar

BY ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON

Sunset and evening star,

      And one clear call for me!

And may there be no moaning of the bar,

      When I put out to sea,

   But such a tide as moving seems asleep,

      Too full for sound and foam,

When that which drew from out the boundless deep

      Turns again home.

   Twilight and evening bell,

      And after that the dark!

And may there be no sadness of farewell,

      When I embark;

   For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place

      The flood may bear me far,

I hope to see my Pilot face to face

      When I have crost the bar.

Betsy xo

                   

Big change

May 27th

We all knew it was coming, however, as much preparation one can do it is still not easy to accept. Aunt Pat took a turn for the worse last night. She is having difficulty drinking water and keeping it down. Her throat hurts to swallow. Her breathing is shallow. She is on oxygen and Haldol to help her relax and stop vomiting. The morphine will be increased, too. She will be sleeping a lot. Her comfort is our priority.

We understand your desire to reach out one last time. The best gift you can give her is peace and quiet so she can rest and sleep. You can email and if she is awake, we'll read the emails to her.

Thank you for your understanding. 

Betsy xo

BTW - I was going to Cannon Beach this weekend but it is now on hold. I will let you know when I'll be heading to the beach. Thanks!

Poppy

Alter Schwede!

May 26th

Eric and Amy organized a picnic dinner in the window with Aunt Pat tonight. Pizza was ordered and we sat outside and chatted with her as she lay in bed. She is getting weaker, sleeping more and requesting more morphine.

I thought this very apropos considering Aunt Pat lived in Germany and is half Swedish. A very popular informal German expression is "Alter Schwede!" (Old Swede!). 

The meaning of Alter Schwede is an "old friend" or "old chap" (for the Brits amongst you…). When Americans say "Hey Buddy!" to a friend, Germans might for instance say "Na, alter Schwede!".

Swedes have apparently earned their reputation as good friends. The expression Alter Schwede first occurred in the 17th century and is related to the Thirty Years' War. After the end of the war, Friedrich Wilhelm von Brandenburg (elector of the Holy Roman Empire) recruited war-proven Swedish soldiers as instructors for his army. They mostly held the rank of sergeants as they were very experienced in tough military exercise (drilling). Because of that, they were soon referred to as "the old Swedes", which explains the described meaning of Alter Schwede as a buddy/friend.

Eric Friedland playing cribbage with his good friend "Alter Schwede" and brother-in-law Uncle Herb (Marion Cronquist's husband.) A game of cribbage was always going on when the two were together. Tom and Pat are hanging out with them at the picnic table.

To all her 'Alter Schwedes', thank you for the phone calls, emails and visits. You mean the world to her!

Betsy xo

Weekend Update

Aunt Pat and Sally Horn

Sunday, May 24th

Aunt Pat had many visitors; Sally Jerome, Sally & Cal Horn, Bob & Emily, Muffie & Jessie and Squiggs' granddaughter Marie who was in town for a volleyball tourney.












She was very tired but in great spirits with all the visits, calls and emails. She is only taking morphine at night. Her liquid intake is about the same as the past few days.

Hospice visits daily. Aunt Pat's belly is very distended. They tells me they're surprised she is not in more pain. This is a blessing.

Monday, May 25th


Aunt Pat is tired today. She slept hard for 3.5 hours this afternoon. She is getting weaker and needs help walking to the bathroom and getting on the bed. She needs more morphine at night and a little during the day now.

Thank you for reaching out to her. I know the move to Seattle has not been easy but staying connected to her friends has made the transition easier. You all are angels.

Betsy xo